6 years, 1 month, 3 weeks and 5 days is how long it took to fill the pages of my first journal. At various times in my life I would begin journaling because it seemed like a fun thing to do, but it usually never lasted more than the first couple of pages before it was re-purposed. This journal in particular was a lot nicer than the others I had and I willed myself to use it because it was too expensive and nice to neglect, and so my journaling began.
Not a very inspirational beginning, but it was in that practical moment that a meaningful habit began. I initially began journaling because I thought it would be a great way to highlight moments in life and be able to look back and eventually share with my kids. I figured there would be moments to laugh at, embarrassingly skip through and ponder. I soon found I wasn’t very motivated to write about the details of my day, so I would just jot down impressionable dreams, an odd interaction or some problem I needed resolved etc.
The first four years cover about ¼ of the journal. It is not until the last 2 years that I actually started writing more consistently. I would occasionally reread the previous entries and then one day I started gleaning insights about myself and how God was speaking and working through me that I had not noticed before. It began with a dream I wrote down years ago that I realized mirrored a situation that was playing itself out presently. Then there was another dream that seemed totally wonky when I wrote it all of a sudden made sense. I saw things that I felt God impressing on me in the moment written in my journal from years before that I had totally forgotten. I began to see God’s hand at work in my life in ways I overlooked and would not have noticed if I didn’t take the time to write it down. The more I wrote, the more I noticed and every since then I have been a firm believer in the gift of journaling.
The busier we get the easier our lives feel out of control. We move on from one thing to the next before you can even digest what just happened. I am guilty of this as much as the next person. This is why journaling is honestly hard for me. I do not want to sit and take the time and rehearse and reflect on what has happened, because the next thing is waiting to happen. But when I do I am truly blessed by it and following in a tradition that God has marked out for us.
The Bible is the recorded history of God and Man’s story through time. We memorize verses, stories and whole books as a way to grow in our knowledge, conform our behaviors and be edified. We celebrate the triumphs of God, Israel and the Church from thousands of years ago, but we often do not include the story of what God is doing today in us and through us.
Just as the Israelite's, God did spectacular and ‘ordinary’ things in their history that they easily forgot along the way. Constantly, as God established them they were encouraged and commanded to write it down, build a memorial in memory, to remember what took place in the moment. And constantly along their journey they made reference back to those things as reminders of God’s faithfulness, to be reassured, to bring about repentance and to celebrate etc. Remembering helped to connect the dots of the present moment and more deeply connect them with their Creator.
This is what journaling is for me. I get to add my story to the continuing narrative of God’s present work. When I look back at many times very simple words, I am reminded of the extraordinary and the ordinary miracles that God worked on my behalf, and I give God glory once again. I am reassured of His good intentions towards me. I am reminded of my failures and brought to my knees in repentance as well as humbled by the blessings He performed through me and I am thankful. The more I am reminded the more I seek to praise Him, repent and grow. Journaling for me has been a way to remember what can so easily be lost in the craziness of life. It is my memorial and continuing narrative of God’s faithfulness. What's yours?
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